LEAD YOU, BEFORE YOU WISH TO LEAD THEM

At a Leadership Workshop some time ago, one, organised by a Non-Governmental organization, I sat and listened to a Director address a set of promising high school teenagers. I realised how everyone present had dreams that bordered on holding positions of high respect, societal prominence and financial power. The girls and boys wanted to be future presidents, governors, senators, world renowned experts in their dream careers.

As I witnessed, I learnt something. This crowd of juveniles, with their eyes wide open eager to express themselves, wanted to be the BEST at whatever they chose to be in life. They didnt just want success, they wanted that success to put them ahead of their peers. Not only did they want to be ‘ahead’, each wanted to be at the top with others following their lead. 

Not bad at all, I’d say. (For you can become whatever it is you set your mind to). But, it didn’t take long before I began to notice that they were not aware of the need for passion in life success. They chose fame, wealth and respect because these accolades looked good on others - without considering that individual differences play a huge role in facilitating or hindering ambition. They didn’t realise this, but I did. I understood their mindset and much more...They wanted to be LEADERS...They didnt just know it as ‘that’. 

It is natural to want the best for yourself. In fact it is human nature to desire the thrown and not the foot rest. When asked of what our dreams are, we lean towards being the greatest at our chosen paths. Being the greatest means standing out among many..becoming the standard by which others are measured..It means being in the lead while others follow behind. When you say you want to be the greatest, what you are saying is "I want to lead". Thus, by inference, you want to be a leader.

When ‘leadership’ is spoken of, what comes to mind for many of us are presidents, governors, ministers, senators, world class entrepreneurs, CEOs of companies, chiefs, queens and kings of communities, principals of schools and the likes. What too many of us fail to understand is that leadership exists at every unit of life. Wherever there is life there is one form of leadership or the other. It is what brings order and progress in society.

Take your body for example, who’s the leader of your body? Your brain right? Your eyes may be leading the way, your legs may be taking you there, but it is the brain that first decides that you go 'there'. Ever watched National Geographic or Wild Life? Do you see how animals of all forms live? Among them, even at their level, you’ll see there is always a leader - Made that way either by superior power, size or intelligence. How much more humans...

A lot of us view ‘leadership’ in the distant and fail to understand that leadership is closer than we think. Leadership starts from the inside. It sprouts from within.

There are two kinds of people: 1. People who are born with gifts or talents that effortlessly set them apart from others therefore, naturally drawing the ore of leadership to them. 2. People who have to work hard at adapting habits, learning and mastering skills of interest that over time, sharpen them for leadership. 

The difference between these two groups is the effort factor. It’s key to one group but is unforced to the other. Their similarity interestingly however, is the work factor. To the one who is gifted or talented, he has to work at further developing, authenticating and fully mastering that endowment to remain apart from the rest. To the one who desires the skill he has to work hard at learning, understanding, acquiring and then further conquering it in order to be outstanding.

Now here comes the headliner. One must first learn to lead himself before he can wish to lead in anything anywhere. For one to be able to lead himself he must complete the following processes: First take note of himself, learn of himself, understand himself, experiment on himself, experience himself, experiment on himself some more and then (begin to) master himself. 

Notice yourself. Find out how you are, your strengths, your weaknesses; what you like, what you don’t like, what’s easy for you and what isn’t so easy, what interests you and what doesn’t. 

Learn of yourself. Discover what your true nature is. What looks better on you (by this I mean your naturfal character and behaviour, thus, your over all personality), what your habits are, what your hobbies are, your tastes, the good aspects of you and the not so good parts of you. What works well with your emotional and physical system and what doesn’t go so well.

Understand yourself. Achieve this by learning to observe yourself. Pay attention to who you tend to be ALWAYS. How do you feel at certain times in certain situations? How do you respond to people and circumstances? How do you react to your living and non-living environment? In what conditions do you thrive most and what places do you find progress too slow or almost impossible? What gets the best out of you and what makes the worst of you? How do you think? How do you interpret situations and people? What kind of people are you more comfortable and fruitful with? Who understands you and who doesn’t. What inspires you and enlarges you and what stunts your growth and development? What makes you happy, excites you, and fascinates you and what doesn’t? What emotions are common to you and what emotions and feelings aren’t so common to you?

Experiment on yourself. When you find answers to the questions asked in the             ‘understand yourself’ section you can begin to experiment on yourself. You’ll find yourself doing this in no particular way and more often it won’t be a conscious thing. Do not be afraid to try new things and indulge in different activities because this helps you know what works for you and what doesn’t. You’ll be able to find out what kind of person you truly are, thereby, know what naturally makes you happy and what you are easily successful at. 

Please I appeal that you do not approach this as you would a school assignment or project. It’s not that serious!!!  Do it with a light heart. After all, discovering yourself is an interesting and self engaging activity that can never bore you because the more you look into yourself the more you will find out about you...and you will be surprised what you carry inside. There is no end to who you are.

Experience yourself. Ensure you get a feel of your own person. Mingle with people. Put yourself on trial in different environments, with different responsibilities, taste different foods, indulge in different activities and broaden your horizon. Never limit your exposure for fear of the unknown and lazy attachment to your comfort zone. Give yourself a chance at mental, academic, social, philosophical, psychological, spiritual and cultural growth. Create some alone time for yourself from time to time so you can meditate on yourself away from the distractions of the outer world. Nourish your mind, body and soul. Exercise and be happy. 

Experiencing yourself helps the process of understanding to a great degree, who you are. I urge that you do not limit yourself to the same things because you are comfortable or used to them. Build yourself by expanding yourself which can only happen if you expose yourself to new experiences that will help your IQ, mentality and psychology of life. 

Read books, all kinds of books; hard copy, online books, articles, newspapers, magazines, whatever. Just read!! There’s an information medium for every kind of person. Find yours and dig in! This opens you up to things you may not find readily available in your immediate surroundings. You learn more in less time without having to spend so much to travel. 

You get to know yourself better on the journey of meeting ideologies and life styles different from your own. It will help you better situate your place in society. It will help you know more as time passes, what you want for yourself and what you would not like to become.

After this, experiment a little more. Then...

Master yourself. Now this is the toughest part! Maybe because it demands a lot of focus and self discipline. You will need to know what you want for yourself before you can begin to invest your time and resources (financial and non-financial) in making you a better person; suitable to fit into the role of the image you have created in your mind about yourself. 

Work on your weakness with the aim of reducing them if not erasing them entirely for no one is perfect. On the reverse, sharpen your strengths. Develop them. Receive training if you must so you can be taught how to apply your strengths to the optimum level there is possible to achieve your goals and advance your status in life.

Do away with whatever keeps you from developing, growing, enhancing your gifts, talents and acquiring those skills you need to excel and draw nearer to those that will be better for you in the long run. Make sure not to indulge in activities that do not tally with the dreams you have for your future. 

Define your goals. Make them clear and keep them clear. Write down your goals and not expect that they will come to pass by vaguely carrying them in your head. Separate them into long term and short term goals. Give your goals an expiry date. Make sure your short term goals add up to make your long term goals.

Goals must be in line with your ambition and purpose in life. Place them where you can always see them to keep you in check.

This completes the whole process of mastering yourself. When you master yourself you will have control over yourself. With control, you will not only be able to lead yourself, you would have set the time bomb waiting to explode into that destiny of being the first you have always wanted; that destiny of inevitable leadership you desire.