DON'T JUST WANT LOVE, 'LOVE' LOVE

Imagine having a chat with someone, not necessarily for the first or even the second time, but say, somewhere along the line of you both getting to know each other, and the guy or lady starts talking about bedroom favourites. This person doesn't just speak about himself (or herself) freely, revealing sexual information that ought to be private, but goes on to try prompting you to reveal yourself so randomly. Just like that. I don’t know about you but for me, it can get quite uncomfortable.

Ever been in the company of persons who so easily talk about intimate experiences they have with their lovers or sexual encounters with random members of the opposite sex not minding who is listening? Ooh I definitely have. You might even be one of them!!! :-/

In a bid to break the silence, soften the tension of unfamiliarity in the air, draw closer to people, pull others closer to us, or make ourselves more comfortable amidst new acquaintances; we tend to talk about things that make us comfortable. Talking about ourselves is one of the easiest things to do as it is a perfect comfort zone. It allows us the calm, flexibility and fluidity needed to keep conversations running, as one can never exhaust all that there is to say about himself. And you cannot speak about anything as well as you can about yourself.

However, in this bid to socialize and share time with others, what are the things we talk about? Who are the people we talk with about such things? In what circumstances and conditions are such conversations engineered and launched? And, to what extent are such topics discussed? What kind of images do we portray about ourselves in the topical issues we raise?

Discussing sexual inclinations at random debases your personality’s worth. Talking without reservation about your love life is not a smart move. Being unreserved about the details of your love, all in the name of trying to be cool, in attempt to obtain a favourable footing with someone or merely to generate conversation, intrudes upon your love. By this, I mean your intimate chemistry with your significant other. When you share so much of you with parts of the world, you are not left with much more or anything new to offer (in style, experience and fulfillment) when a part of that ‘world’ gets a sip of how ‘love’ would taste with you.

Asides that, you create room for opinions from others that may be potentially destructive as your mindset will be subjected to the possibility of contamination. The beauty in keeping romance private lies in its emotional exclusivity. Leaving such matters for fewer ears heightens its value. When something means a lot to you, you shield it from anything that may threaten its existence or the length of it. In that regard, making your ‘love’ accessible to everybody or anybody is not a move in the right direction. If you appreciate what you have the best way to depict that is in your effort to protect it. In the same way that some medicines only remain potent for as long as their lids are kept tightly shut from air intrusion, your love life will last for as long as you are willing to keep it away from public digestion and scrutiny.

The aim is to ‘preserve’ your love. So to preserve it, you must protect it. To protect it, you must preserve yourself. Self preservation is a form of self-respect. Self respect is a form of respecting your loved one, for that which debases you in extension debases your loved one too.

Do not do things that belittle the value of intimacy. For instance, randomly revealing your tastes in the bedroom is absolutely uncalled for. Telling acquaintances and friends about your sexual encounters that ought to be between you and your lover or spouse alone reduces its vibrancy. Keep that which should be private, private. This does not rule out having confidants who you may go to for advice because everyone has someone they confide in about private matters. 
Acknowledging the concept of privacy facilitates the course of preservation. Privacy amplifies contentment derived from ventures. Privacy empowers intimacy. The secrecy in it is the value of it. If you claim to love him or her, keep private, that which bonds you. If you claim to love the reality of love, then keep your romantic and sexual inclinations away from random ears.

The torrent of exploration is the essence of discovery. That is one of the many ways to protect love. An experience with you won’t stand any chance of being appreciated if it is auctioned (sold put) at a giveaway price. If you claim to love love, then, you must protect it. Because in the end, you’ll be happier with and in it.